When you seek God’s Will He will give you what you need. When you are going through a rough time seek God and trust in Him to live again. You can’t die with your loved one. I know you miss them, and miss hearing their voice but know they would want you to continue living each day to the fullest. Don’t depend on your understanding because you are limited. But we serve a limitless God. Allow Him to show you the path each day in His loving arms.